so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
