just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
