in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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