thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
