end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
