just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
