You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
