Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
