i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
