She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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