There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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