I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
