whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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