Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
