Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
