you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
