i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I want her autograph on my taint
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
