**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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