I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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