Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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