I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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