Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
