Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
