dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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