Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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