Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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