I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
