so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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