he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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