Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
