Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
