great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
