I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
