Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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