i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
