hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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