I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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