i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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