just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
