I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
