So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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