I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
