There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
