Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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