this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
