you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
