Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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