Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
