Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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