Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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