This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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