if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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