She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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