shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
