i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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