Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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