Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The uberlube is also flammable
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
