He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
