This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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