Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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