dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
