I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
